What Your Birth Taught Me: About You, About Me

Have you ever noticed how unique and special each child is? So. Different. Each of my children is so different from any of the others and has something so valuable to offer the world. I learn something special from each of them and that began right from their birth.

My kids like to ask about when they were born. Hallmark sent me a book for this post called On the Night You Were Born and I know that it is going to become a favorite. Photo albums with their birth stories are already a huge favorite with my kiddos and I know it’s because of they love to see not only when they entered the world, but how they changed my life when they did so.

Evan England – 11-15-2004 Evan was the best possible way to end the single most life-changing year in my history. Sidney and I married in January and moved to Texas hours away from family. We learned how to work together and Evan’s birth was the culmination of all we had learned that year. We became parents and it solidified our relationship forever.

Changed

I learned to surrender like I’ve never done before. In his story I wrote:  ”It isn’t an experience I would trade for all the world. It is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I would do it again in a heartbeat.” Evan’s labor was the longest and there were things I knew mentally I would “never do” that ended up being necessary for his birth. Evan taught me that there is no one-size-fits-all in parenting. He’s still that way – challenging me in his uniqueness and making me think outside the box.

Brianna England – 5-4-2006 Brianna was born like a freight train. She was quick, intense, and had her way of being born. That attitude hasn’t changed one bit either. She’s stubborn and the things that work well with Evan don’t work with Brianna.

In her birth story I wrote: “It was a very intense labor but even at the most intense point I just kept thinking how powerful it all felt. Rather an awe inspiring experience to realize how much power really is able to be created in me. A definite confidence boost in many ways…..and it didn’t feel like _I_ was being powerful….just that I was allowing the power to work in me. I wonder what daily life would be like if we allowed God’s power to work in us more often.

Micah and Brianna

Micah England – 9-08-2008 Micah was born in what can only be described as a fun and laughter-filled labor. His labor was FUN. I know it sounds crazy to describe it that way but it’s true. I think that the labor matched the child – Micah is a joy. He truly delights in making others smile and laugh. He has a unique flair you can’t overlook.

I wrote in his birth story: “The kids made me laugh between contractions which was a nice difference with this labor compared to my other two. Having them there kept me in control.” I remember telling Sidney I could do this a hundred more times but this was also the first pregnancy where back pain was a significant factor.

Adam England – 4-10-2010 Adam is on the surface a little mini-me of his brother in personality, if not in looks. But Adam is the baby who taught me to let go of expectations and embrace my ability to dance with a confidence I never knew before. When I wanted to move I moved. I didn’t have to know why, only trust that it was the right decision. In parenting, in business, and in life  in general that confidence has made the last two years of our lives truly amazing ones with so many things falling into place for us.

I wrote in his birth story: “Baby is very active throughout the labor. VERY. Moves a lot. So do I. I tell Sidney I’m done. I’m leaving now. He can have the baby by himself. He laughs at me and I laugh too. I know I’m being silly. I can’t sit still.

Vivian England – 12-6-2011 Vivian broke our trend of having babies on the even years. I think she wanted to be special since she’s probably our last. I wonder if she knew how long her big brother and sister had prayed for her and just didn’t want to keep them waiting any longer. Whatever it is, she is a perfect dichotomy of content and determined. She’s happy and “zen” and rarely fusses, but she is also a go-getter, quietly attacking life with a determination to not be left out of whatever her siblings have going on. Honestly, I think she just didn’t want to wait until 2012 to take on the world.

I wrote in her birth story: “I love the sensation of feeling my body move from passive surrender, to active, working power. I roar. I become strong. Powerful in a way I rarely feel, except perhaps in the most intense moments of intimacy. There’s a letting go and a trust-in-yourself that takes place and energy you didn’t know you were capable of.

It’s a crazy life but somebody’s got to live it. I’m blessed to be able to do so.

I think what I most want the kids to understand is that while we are an amazing entity – family, they are an amazing solo person. Special in every sense of the world. Marvelous. Nuanced. It is the greatest delight of my life to learn more of those nuances that makes them the unique creatures they are. Our introduction told me a lot about them – and daily I learn more in those little moments that create memories.

Hallmark’s Life is a Special Moment campaign sponsored this post and I tear up at the fitting tribute it is. Embracing these special moments that literally brought forth a new life reminds me to acknowledge what is special about the everyday.

Sometimes I think I learn more from my kids than they do from me. What have you learned as a parent from your children? 

About AngEngland

has written 455 posts in this blog.

Founder of Untrained Housewife, Editor-in-Chief of Blissfully Domestic (http://blissfullydomestic.com), mother of five, wife of one, and God-seeker always.

Comments

  1. Vicky says

    What a beautiful post, Ang! Your kids have one amazing mommy. :)
    Some of us still have shoeboxes full of loosleaf notes and photos and BIG intentions of making a scrapbook… someday… ;)

    • Tricia says

      I agree! I only have one, but I haven’t managed to write up much. Mine was a tough little one to get through the hard pregnancy I had, and I am so grateful that she was such a fighter.

    • says

      You need to get in touch with my mom – she helps people manage their photos and get them into enjoyable book form. And she has EIGHT kids so she knows all the time saving tips.

  2. says

    The correlation you’ve drawn between the birthing experience and the child’s personality is fascinating. I’m one who believes that everything is connected but, for sure, a child in the womb is connected with their mother. Reflecting on your observations, I can only surmise that the closer they get to their entrance to the world, the greater the energy they exude, if that makes any sense…

    Your children are beautiful! Bless your hearts for being the sort of parents who can create a home environment that brings such brilliant smiles to those beautiful faces.

  3. says

    I LOVE this! It is amazing how every single birth is so different – I LOVE hearing birth stories and the two that I have are the best stories me and Lane have…we never tire of telling and retelling them.

  4. says

    Love the memories…of moments shared. Of watching my girl become a mom, of watching Sid quietly support you (and saying once, “just give into the fact you are gonna get wet…get in the tub”). And laughing when you looked over his shoulder that first labor as I rounded the hallway and you moaned, “you did this eight times? You really did this eight times!!?” YEP

    And….encouraging you now….with what Dad would say, “there is always room for one more” and…it is 100% true…we grow with each one, in unique ways, and each one brings something valuable, unique and precious to this planet.

    There is great faith expansion when the Lord is simply allowed to be Lord of ALL.

    love mom
    And for those wanting an album (we have a variety of ‘scrapbooks’…some are super quick, add photos and words to our done-for-you pages. We have everything in the bag, fast to fabulous kits. An other option, is digitally created and we print bound coffee table books.) My website is http://www.mycmsite.com/Karis and my email is KarisCM@cox.net. Happy to help you make the choice that is perfect for you. And let me free you with this: your kids don’t want every photo snapped, they simply want a few photos, your words, and the opportunity to sit together on the coach and hear their story.

  5. says

    I love reading birth stories. They are so unique to each woman and each birth. Your photos are beautiful, your children even more.

    I certainly learn from my children – about myself, about life in general, about patience, about gratitude and about unconditional love.

  6. says

    My younger sister decided she was done after a few hours of pushing with her first daughter. She told her doctor to just push the baby back up and she’d try again tomorrow lol

  7. says

    Oh Angela, I love this. It is so true, every labor and birth is so different, isn’t it? I have loved reading this and reflecting on my own 5 births.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>