All little girls have dreamed of being swept off their feet and falling helplessly in love with their very own versions of Prince Charming. Whether it be after waking up from a hundred-year slumber, rising from the deathbed after biting into a not-so-fresh fruit, or reuniting with a lost shoe after dancing the night away, we were all made to believe that happily ever after will fall right into our laps just like that, effortlessly, simply because it’s meant to be.
Turns out, it’s not how it works in real life. Marriage actually begins the moment the newlywed’s dance music stops playing, and the last of the guests have already left and the real work begins. Yes, I’m calling it work because that’s how you make your own happily ever after. By working on it together and establishing give-and-take between you and your partner, every single day of your married life.
So, what is it that you have to give (and hopefully, take) for a successful marriage?
Active Attention
With the endless To-Do Lists, Bucket Lists, corporate ladders to climb, payments to make, it is very easy to ignore your partner for most of the day. While you cannot simply drop everything and spend the whole day exchanging sweet nothings every single day, you should actually make an effort to allocate a portion of your time for this. Whenever you spend quality time with each other, focus on the present. Switch off your phone and your computer and pay close attention. Strive to understand what your partner is sharing with you, instead of simply waiting for him or her to finish so that you can start talking. Don’t give out unsolicited advice. Sometimes, your partner just needs to feel that you’re there to listen, and then he or she can figure out the solution on their own.
Alone Time
Wanting to spend time alone doesn’t necessarily mean that your husband or wife doesn’t want to be with you. Maybe he or she simply wants to be away from everybody and not just you. Being caught up in the middle of a humongous project at work, the multitude of parenting duties, or the daily grind of household chores can be draining. Everyone needs some time to reconnect with the inner self from time to time. Scheduling each other’s “Me Time” regularly will give you time to miss each other and will make you excited to get back into each other’s arms.
Absolute Trust
The reality is that trust begins with one’s self. If you trust yourself that you’re giving the best that you can for your relationship and that you’re secure in your own skin, then you’ve taken the biggest step to trusting your partner. It means that you won’t get scared with little things, such as when he goes out on the town with his friends or when he gets to work closely on a project with a beautiful colleague, and the bigger scenarios like when he thinks of investing your family’s savings on a business venture or when he plans to relocate the entire family halfway across the globe. Having absolute trust on your partner means you’ll always believe that your decisions are always geared towards the betterment of your marriage and your family.
Acceptance
Sure, everyone has faults and imperfections. Some can even be traced back to our respective childhoods while others, we developed while growing up. It’s nice to think that the person you love will strive to change for you. But expect that he or she will fail at times. There are some non-negotiable and potentially dangerous and deadly faults that a person should completely eliminate from their systems. But when it comes to the little things that irk us, sometimes, it pays to be more understanding and accepting.
A Dose of Brain Exercise
The brain will always be the sexiest part of the body. Never stop learning. Read whenever you can. The things you pick up will come in handy when you spend quality time with your partner. Always strive to share some new knowledge you acquired and not just the latest neighborhood gossip. You’ll be surprised at how often your partner will keep coming back to you for more.
An Orgasm Worth Remembering
Sex after marriage shouldn’t be boring. When you were just dating, you used to cuddle and bop like bunnies every chance you get. Who says it has to end the moment you tie the knot? Sex is a beautiful thing which should be shared with someone special and is not to be used exclusively for making babies. Now that you’re married, make sure that you make the most out of it and exert some effort in making it count every single time. It should always be fun and pleasurable for both of you.
A Lot of Laughter
Humor is one of the most underappreciated secrets to a happy relationship. The world is full of things that we all have to be serious about – your health, your career, your children’s welfare, but not everything should be taken with a furrowed brow. A chuckle here and there or snickers on a private joke between you and your partner can definitely make a difference and may even help you see the world in a lighter, more beautiful way.
Enjoy your marriage… Enjoy life!
*** Image Used: Taken and Owned by Author
