The kids have been driving you mad all day – they’re not picking up after themselves, they’re not ready in time to eat, and the teenagers can’t be dragged away from their computer screens long enough to say “Hello, how are you?” If you’re having one of those days where the idea of the kids running away with the circus sounds appealing to you, let these funny quotes about kids ease your pain.
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
The funny, self-deprecating humor of Phyllis Diller will be missed on this earth, but she’s not just funny, she’s right! Isn’t it good to know that all the work you put in raising your kids is going to amount to something someday? When you get old and unable to look after yourself, you can give them trouble like they give you trouble now!
“Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.” – John F. Kennedy
If your little critter is being a little monster today, be comforted by the fact that they probably won’t grow up to be the biggest, most important little monster in the country!
“If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.” – E.W. Howe
It’s sad but true that sometimes, having that break in the middle of the day is all parents need to get by, particularly when you’ve raised your children since day one. Letting the kids run along to school is a godsend. You can sit down, relax and maybe even pretend that they’re gone for good!
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle
The cheesy grinned Milton Berle has a point here. Trying to tackle a brood of children running off to school with no lunch or out into the sun without sunscreen can be a complete headache. Wouldn’t it be great if we had just a few more arms at our disposal?
“The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you know what you’re talking about.” – Evan Esar
Get them while they’re young, says Evan Esar. Teach them everything you know, tell them what’s right and wrong, and for Pete’s sake, help them learn how to dress themselves. It’s when they turn into the beast known as “The Teenager” that you’ll find yourself in trouble.
“Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut up.” – Anonymous
Finally, try to hark back to a time when you wanted your kids to make noise – when you were trying to get them to talk. Saying “mama” and “dada” was pretty cute back then, but now that they’re asking to borrow the car, are you regretting the work you put in?
This is but a short collection of funny quotes about our favorite little creatures. They get on our nerves but we love them anyway – right? Of course!!
Leigh E. says
These are really funny. Love the quote by Evan Esar. I have a 5 year old boy and he believes everything I say! Hahaha!