I’m in that awkward space postpartum. The place of dichotomy. The place of being in two places at once.
The place where you snuggle in and think, “I can’t believe it’s already been 4 weeks.” The place where part of you wishes you could find the snooze button and stop the world for just a moment longer.
The other side of 4-weeks-postpartum is the place of emergence. The place where you blink your eyes like a no-longer-slumbering bear and peek from your den to see if it’s safe to come out yet. The place where you say, “I can’t believe it’s only been 4 weeks.” because it feels like your heart has belonged to this tiny creature forever. The place where you long for a bigger world and a new normal.
I’ve scheduled my 6 week check up. My mind begins to awaken to life beyond my breasts, her hunger and the never-ending load of laundry.
Current news begins to become current again. Creativity flows; I’ve filled an entire steno pad and still my mind buzzes like a hive of honey-filled ideas.
My husband catches my eye across the room and I see the twinkle there. I feel the twinkle there. I feel myself thawing and warming…smoldering like an ember that awaits the spark.
Vivian is thriving. Double chinned.
And those baby feet that get me every time.
We’re 4 weeks in to the rest of her life and loving every minute.