I stumbled upon an offer from Melanie at Only a Breath to create a little button with your word of the year. Your One Word. The word that will be your focal point for the coming year. It was a no-brainer for me because this word is something I’ve been gearing up for – it’s the theme that is playing stronger than ever in my life right now.
Journey.
And from there the three-word phrase, and my focus for the coming year was crystal clear – Embrace the Journey. I’ve written about the journey of self-sufficiency before, remember? This post made it into the Untrained Housewife Manifesto – 7 Principles of Intentional and Self-Sufficient Living because in order to live with intention we have to embrace the journey. (Click to Tweet)
Created by Becky Bayne based on my sketch after receiving hate mail. I’ve never been so crushed and energized at the same time in my entire life.
And today I got my first true hate mail. Not a troll, not a negative comment or spam. Hate. Personal, attacking, poisoned-darts of accusatory hate. You know it’s going to be bad when the email starts, “I don’t want to sound like a ____ or hurt your feelings, but….”
The jist of the anonymous email was berating me because I founded a website where I only write 1/2 the posts – allowing contributors to join in and post alongside. Because I wrote a book about homesteading while I live within city limits. Because I encourage greater self-sufficiency without being totally off-grid. It ended with a slap about how the writer would have wished that my publishers would choose someone who’s actually living the life described instead of a fraud. Ouch!
The criticisms plucked at my am-I-worthy heart string and the vibration was a shock wave through me. I power-cleaned. I prayed. I soul-searched. Then God told me to go to the beginning of my book, Backyard Farming on an Acre (More or Less). The introduction of the book reads:
“Once we married and had children we began to seek a lifestyle that was more and more independent and in balance with God’s design. Each year we’ve taken bigger steps down the path of self-sufficiency. Beginning with a small home just inside city limits, with less than a half-acre plot, we’ve found ways to increase the amount of food we produce for ourselves each year. We started with a simple garden and each year have added more elements to our backyard farm.
Backyard Farming on an Acre (More or Less) is a direct result of that journey and my desire to share what can be accomplished, no matter where you live. Backyard farming is about creating a healthier family, a healthier food system, and a healthier Earth for yourself and those who come after you. It’s about recapturing the balance of years gone by, married with the knowledge and breakthroughs of modern ages. Everyone’s journey into backyard farming is unique, and that’s the beauty of it.”
I wrote the book in imperfection so that you wouldn’t wait until you were 100% before starting your journey. If your arrival point is clear already, the journey is pointless – but that’s not how real life works. The journey has, to quote my mother, “both great views, magnificent vistas, as well as grueling climbs and testy trails” but the journey is worth the while. So worthwhile.
I went back to the beginning of this website, too. The About page is one of the first things I ever wrote on this website:
“As I recently told a friend, I’m not calling these ‘areas of weakness.’ I’m calling these areas of huge growth potential! Doesn’t that sound like fun? I love growing and learning new things almost as much as I hate doing dishes…
So – let’s you and I go on an adventure together as we strive to embrace our calling as wives and mothers – queens of our homes. Together we will be learning and growing in huge ways!”
The mindset that says only the perfect people can speak, or only those who have it all together have the right to success is precisely what I’m fighting against.
I don’t want people to wait until they are in the perfect situation. I don’t want people to think they have to know the answer to every question before jumping into the fray. That doesn’t make me a fraud – it makes me human.
It’s like having a baby or getting married. Did you know anything about being a mother before your child was born? Of course not. Were you a perfect wife or husband before taking vows? Neither was I. But that didn’t stop us from taking on the adventure – from embracing the journey.
The hater is right in the analysis but not the conclusion. I do not know all the answers and I am not perfect. It’s true. I have not arrived. Also true. And that, dear friend, is precisely the point.
Action takes place in imperfection only when we embrace the journey. (Click to Tweet)
So those are my words for the year – for a lifetime. And my invitation for you.
Embrace the Journey.
What will your journey look like this year?
(If you want to join along with me with pride check out the sticker and cool notebook I put together using this new Embrace the Journey design)
Wow. I guess I’m a fraud too!
I live in town and I am blessed with a backyard big enough to take care of most of my needs. While I won’t be able to get completely off the grid, I can get pretty close. Close enough to take care of my child, and close enough to weather emergencies and the fiscal uncertainty we are all facing today. I’m a single Mom, and those issues aren’t keeping me up at night because I know I can work with what I have to help with what I need. I would love to have the “right” setup, but right now I don’t. What a blessing that I can move ahead on my dream using what I already have!
It sounds like the hater completely missed the point.
I think it’s just about doing what we can with what we have. Thank you for your support. And yes – she (he?) had the right thoughts but missed the point. Too bad – we’re a pretty friendly community aren’t we? 🙂
Beautiful, Ang. You are right. None of us is perfect and this is a journey. We have an opportunity not only to embrace the journey but to embrace each other and lend a helping hand. Clearly, the hater is not at a place where he or she can receive such caring and thoughtful embracing, nor does he or she appear to be at that point where they can embrace their own journey instead of criticizing others. Maybe, some day, he or she will find the joy that you have. The joy in embracing the journey.
I love your point about embracing each other as well. Everyone is on their own journey and at a different place in that journey.
OH my friend. You are authentic as they come. You could never be a fraud, your life is full of intention, learning, and love. I am better for knowing you. <3
I’m generally not one to quote the Bible, but the old speck and plank reference comes to mind. We’re all human, we all have flaws and areas of weakness. Some try to make everything appear perfect and some acknowledge and strive to become better. While all of us occasionally use the first tactic, I firmly believe you are in the latter category and I’m proud to call you friend.
I love you, I’m glad we’ve shared at least part of this road, and I want you to never stop.
Thank you so much. I’m glad that you see it and I’m blessed to have you in my life as well.
I love this post so much!!! That’s exactly what it is about – the journey to learn of each day!
Your hater reminds me of Taylor Swift’s song “Mean”. All they’re ever going to be is mean IF they continue to look for flaws instead of embracing the journey. You’re as authentic and real as anyone gets. I love how you share the failures as well as the triumphs. Keep doing what you’re doing, friend!
Unfortunately we all haven’t grown up on self-sufficient farms off the grid. Some of us want to get closer to that existence, but have to work with what we have.
Thank you for writing this blog, so those of us who don’t live on a thousand acres somewhere in Alaska can also move towards self-sufficiency.
Thanks Laura – I try to always been really upfront what’s going on. I know that my life isn’t perfect…I’m well aware of that! Lol! But no one’s life is perfect and that doesn’t mean we can’t have joy as well. Even if all I could do was grow 10% of my family’s food wouldn’t that be worth it? I’m glad you’ve enjoyed the blog so far – remember you’re always able to share what’s going on in YOUR journey as well. 😀
I heart you, Angela. All of us are imperfect and there’s some comfort in that because it leaves us room to grow and embrace the journey you’re speaking about here. 🙂
Thank you Liz. I too find the imperfect a little more comfy. hehehehehehe
Good for you. Be strong 🙂
I’m now going to have to join FA (Frauds Anonymous). “Hello, my name is Kelly and I’m a backyard organic gardening fraud.”
In fact, I’m such a sad case that my journey began years ago with a raised bed and asparagus beds in my front yard. And I live in the city!
And now that I’ve read Backyard Farming, I have plans to become even MORE of a fraud. Thanks, Angela 😉
Lol! We can be the Fraud Squad. 😉
Well, I love you just the way you are – perfectly imperfect with a wealth of knowledge to share with others. I love your giving heart, and I think you’re doing a mahhhvelous job, sweet pea.
Action takes place in imperfection only when we embrace the journey!
LOVE… thanks for sharing your real journey- Joy
If that’s true than we are ALL frauds! How are we to learn without weakness and failure? In any case I think the blessing here is that you created this beautiful image and post. You are one of the few people I know that can turn something so senseless into something inspiring and beautiful.
Funny, all the things they called being fraudulent are exactly the reasons I think you’re so great and brave. Writing a book about homesteading within city limits is amazing and just the proof the rest of us need that we don’t need the perfect setting to be more and do less. You inspire me to be better just because you are honest about who you are and how you choose to live.
I don’t even think I need to say any more than the amazing women above me already stated. Just here leaving a comment in support of your choice, and in continued support of you Go get em girl!
You go girl! Onward and upward and don’t be put off by those who want to steal our dreams.
There are more people who live in or near the city on small acreage that need what you share than people who are going off-grid right now. Stay clear on what you are called to do and do not let what anyone else thinks interfere.
Yay! persecution!! bit wimpy if they cannot even sign their name, but hey persecution nonetheless, go GIRL!! you are way above this kind of stuff 🙂
I love this so much. I know you, I know the Journey and what it means to each of us. I love that you are so open and embracing of everyone, no matter where on their journey they are.
Cheers! *raises glass* To the Journey!
Criticism makes you dig doesn’t it? Digging is a good thing whether it’s in your heart, in the Word or in the dirt…something gratifying and soul healing about it.
My word was “Progress” only because there are some areas that need it but I know it can’t be fulfilled in a year so if I continue to make progress, then I’m walking forward. I had a better one. It was more inspiring but then I went to sleep and forget it during the night. Ha ha so for now, I’m keeping “Progress”.
Our journeys take us different places and like snowflakes; no two are alike. Praise The Lord!
Enjoy yours!
I love how you addressed the email with such a positive lesson in life, Angela.
Clearly, we’re all in this world together, all learning from the daily lessons we’re being offered in life. If that makes us “frauds” in life, because we welcome that, then lets rethink ” fraud” and recognize it as a good word, a compliment. Because I’d far rather learn something new everyday than be finished.
I think the hater missed the point completely. The book is about being sustainable and farming WHERE YOU ARE. Not having to buy 10 acres or 50 acres or 100 acres. It’s about living a sustainable life in the place that you are. Your wrote about it. They obviously didn’t get that.
Haters gonna hate. 🙂 We all know that. By offering your experience through trial and error, you help others who want to do the same thing and just don’t know how to start.
Chin up and keep on trucking!
Amen!
Aw Angie, the only person who had all the answers died on a cross for us. The rest of us struggle, do the best we can as we journey through life. I happen to love the fact that you live “in the city”. But seriously, where you live is called “in the city?” You might be in the city limits, but many city limits are reaching well into the surrounding rural areas. The reason I appreciate the fact that you don’t live “off the grid” is because this way you’re able to help more people be a little more self-sufficient. We can’t all live completely off-grid for so many reasons. You and your writers show ways we can help ourselves whether we live on a small acerage, or in an apartment. Thanks.
Ang, people who are totally off the grid or living the totally sustainable lifestyle might be interesting to read about, but they do not represent any sort of a role model for me. Their lifestyle is unapproachable to me. You are my role model. Just as you say in the intro to your book and in this post: Embrace the journey! And it’s the journey that life is all about. Keep doing what you’re doing. And ignore the naysayers (though I’m glad you posted about this, so I could reflect and comment).
Thank you for doing so. I appreciate your thoughts on this a lot. I never want to feel unapproachable or have people “tune out” because it’s so far extreme. It’s been really cool to see people’s responses and how they are sharing their journey. One gal is moving to an area of the city that has a roof garden. Another gal sent me pictures of her BOAT GARDEN! Amazing.
I had to laugh heartily at this line: “I power cleaned.” It’s therapeutic, isn’t it? My husband confessed that when we were first married, he would sometimes let an argument go longer than necessary because he knew the house would be spotless. Even now, on those days when I deep clean the kitchen, he says he goes to work wondering what he did. 😀
The person who wrote that letter is hurting. She’s trying to make it hurt less by spreading around the hurt. It doesn’t work, but as humans, we often try.
Most of us reading are not as far along on our paths to self-sufficiency as you are. I’m sure a few are, but we’re mostly beginners. Maybe the author is actually a lot further along. If so, she doesn’t really need you. We do.
Right? Power-cleaning ftw! Lol!
Julie the thing is – I would rather welcome her (him?) here and give them a platform for sharing their knowledge… TONS of people know more than I do about tons of stuff! I’m only 31 so it’s not like I have tons of life experience on this new lifestyle. There are contributors here who make their own spaghetti, who breed chickens for profit, who go to the grocery store once a quarter….way beyond where _I_ am. That’s the beauty of it. Like a quilting-circle where everyone can learn from each other…
I’ve even changed up the “write for us” page to Join Us and made it clear that I have an editor on staff so that you DONT have to be a professional writer to contribute. If you know something that will help someone else make things easier, more intentional, or more self-sufficient in their life, then share it! 😀
Misprint….
Are you sitting down?
You are not 31…you are 33…you need more time away from the computer. Lol
I decided to use Dad’s method of counting birthdays. Lol!
Thank you so much for the beautiful writing of this post. You are so right in saying about being human. I would rather hear from someone taking the journey along with me than someone who
knows all the answers. It’s then that I feel companionship.Thank you again so much for this post
Thank you for taking the time to share. I appreciate that so much.
Fabulous response and reaction to someone who is essentially a cyber-bully/. My journey this year – all about learning how to be more present and live in the moment!
Good for you! Thinking that everything has to be ‘perfect’ before being public is the kind of thinking advertisers constantly try to force down our throats; if you are female you must be unhealthily skinny, wear flawless makeup, have perfect hair, etc, etc, etc. If I let that kind of thinking impair me I’d never leave the house!!! I am a 58 year old childless widow, somewhat overweight – though I am losing – my new personal trainer has 4 legs 😉 My ‘homestead’ is a one acre motel with limited options (Catskills soil is 75% rocks) and I’m not permitted to keep chickens – darned health regulations 🙁 However that hasn’t stopped me from gradually building a nice raised-bed garden in back for veggies, and another in front for a combination of flowers and herbs where the guests can wander or sit. In due course (soon I hope) I will sell this place and, with a like-minded friend, move to a larger property where we can homestead on a much larger scale. You just keep doing what you are doing – inspiring the rest of us, and giving us hope and something to aspire to 😉
Oh my friend… where would we be without the JOURNEY? You so beautifully live your journey each and every day – striving to be better, stronger, faster in every capacity of your life, but perfection is, well… downright silly, if I’m honest. We don’t really know anyone who IS perfect, right?
You live as authentically as anyone I know. If you didn’t, this person who wrote to you wouldn’t KNOW you have contributing authors (you would pass the site off entirely as your own – perfection, right? You CAN do it ALL!), they wouldn’t KNOW you lived within city limits (why cop to that if your intent is to defraud your community?) and they wouldn’t KNOW you are incapable of stepping off the grid at all times.
You provide the framework for how you ideally would like to live, for what works for your lovely family and for how you would like your journey to continue… it is THAT authenticity and love of life that resonates with your friends, with people like me.
Don’t let someone who hides behind the veil of the internet chip away at the strength and beauty of you… you are worth so much more than that.
Continue to embrace your journey – it is a good one.
xoxo
“You provide the framework for how you ideally would like to live, for what works for your lovely family and for how you would like your journey to continue… it is THAT authenticity and love of life that resonates with your friends, with people like me.”
Thank you so much my dear – I appreciate you so much.
Oh Ang,
I’m so sorry you had to receive a message like that. I’m going to say something I don’t say very often – you are one of the most genuine, authentically real, down-to-earth, do anything for anyone people I have had the pleasure to know and work with. I love our conversations – online and off – and so love the way your mind thinks and how you share your insecurities, ephipanies, moments of success and moments of failure (and yes, don’t we all have them), so wonderfully.
I say that is nothing more than sour grapes and a woman you don’t need in your life, so don’t give it another thought.
Sending you many smiles, a big hug and a vat of chocolate, my friend.
Shelly
If we were all “perfect” we would be totally boring and inauthentic! The journey and stumbling and imperfection are all part of it! Some of the greatest things that have come to me in my life have come out of failing or expectations I had about myself that didn’t come true in reality. What you’ve done is amazing–you’ve started a space for people to come together and TRY new things and VENT about their frustrations and TRIUMPH in their successes! That is authentic–definitely not fraudulent. This site and your writing lends so much encouragement to those of us with less of whatever we are “supposed” to have to just do the best we can with what we have and make it fun and better while enjoying the process. I think you are brave and amazing!
Golly, don’t these people have something better to do with their time? You’d think if they’re so gung-ho on being legalistic about living off the grid, they’d have farming keeping their hands busy instead of shooting out hate mail on the Internet. I applaud you for doing what you can with what you’ve got to work with, Angela. As far as what MY journey will look like this year, I’ll be blogging about where social media meets real life. 🙂
This is speaking to me so much lately, Angela. I’ve been having my “Am I worthy” heartstrings plucked this week. This post is going to be bookmarked for much future use. Thanks for sharing it!
~Kristi@Let This Mind Be in You
Just the words of encouragement I needed. I am glad to have you by my side during my journey. I hope you don’t mind, but I shared this on my page. ***hugs***
Good! I’m glad it was helpful to you. Been there, done that. 🙂