My husband and I had been together for eight years of before we got married in 2010. We met when we were both college freshmen and have been inseparable since then. Over the years, we had our share of differences, given of course that he’s a boy and I’m a girl and we were raised by two different families on the opposite ends of the Philippine archipelago. Still, on a closer look, we found out that we also have a lot of common traits, tastes, and preferences, our love for books and pets topping this list. Indeed, we are what you can call “Married Best Friends.”
But life in a household of best friends isn’t always perfect. A bit far from it, if you ask me. While we may share our laughters and endless conversations about the things we both like and we agree upon, we also scream our hearts out in anger or pour out our own buckets of tears with sadness whenever our views and opinions clash. And those are times when personally, I feel that my “best friend” is not actually the best company at the moment.
The Pros and the Perks
Having your husband as your best friend can have its advantages. What could be better than having him as that friend you can always count on to listen to all your stories – the good and the bad? You get to share your most intimate secrets with your best friend and he can also count on you to listen to his. This is perhaps the epitome of those sweet words you’ve exchanged at the altar – for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. Indeed, you and your husband were bound to be the best of friends for life.
The Cons… the Downside
So your husband is your best friend. That’s really nice. But realistically speaking, a “best” friend, like all any other types of friends, is not a “perfect” friend. You still are two different human beings living together as husband and wife, with your individual sets of beliefs, values, personalities, and moods. While it is perfectly OK to want your husband to be there for you, it is wrong to demand. There may be times when he’s having his own problems at work or fighting his own battles in his mind that forcing him to be the best friend might not be such a terrific idea. And so you fight with your best friend. Now this situation poses a question: Who will be the supportive best friend for me when I get into a fight with my husband? And of course you have those girly quirks that he will never understand… What to do… what to do…
Having your husband as your best friend may not be a picture-perfect scenario but you can make it work for you, so long as you master the art of respecting your individual differences and limitations. Even a girl best friend can have her own mood swings too and sometimes you also end up arguing. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of timing. And of course, lots and lots of love!
*Original photo by the author