I have three children. The first one I wanted, nay, needed to be a boy. I was terrified at the idea of raising a daughter, because I didn’t have a mom, so how good at it could I be?
By number 2, I prayed, begged, named her from the day we had a positive test, and cried when I found out she was a boy.
With number three, I just avoided the truth, ignored it, and quietly got jealous of all the moms around me having girls. Out of all of my friends, 5 of us pregnant at the same time, 4 had girls.
So, I have 3 boys. I don’t know if we are going to have more, but I’m not trying for a girl if we do. It doesn’t matter if I try for a girl or not – what does matter is how I respond if and when I find out it’s a boy. But I’m ready, because I’ve realized that it’s OK to not have a girl, and here are my reasons why:
My Sons Can Give Me Daughters
When my sons reach their teen years, they will become interested in girls. I’m sure we will meet several of them coming in one door and out the other as our sons try to figure out who is right for them.
This may continue into their 20s, possibly their 30s, but at some point, they will get married and I will have a daughter (maybe 3 of them!). Do I want to wait that long? No, but like I said, it’s going to be OK.
I Get To Raise Great Husbands
I don’t have to worry that my daughter will grow up and marry an abusive, disrespectful, unpleasant person- how sad it is that this happens so often? Instead. I get to raise her an amazing husband.
I get to help him be a loving, understanding (you all know how much a man needs understanding when it comes to women), and supportive husband that cares first about God, then family, and then taking care of that family.
I Get To Teach My Sons to Pick Their Wive(s)
This means I get to help choose my daughter(s), at least to some degree. If my sons and I have the relationships I hope for, they will respect my opinion (maybe not listen to it), but I’ll have a close enough relationship with them that I can discuss this important decision with them.
No Moody PMS Daughters – Praise God
I don’t have to worry about their teenage years, the awful PMS, mood swings, arguments, and hormones (boys are supposedly easier at that age). I had 4 sisters, so I know the years of 9-23 are no picnic. I can look forward to skipping that stage completely!
I’ll Be A Better Parent When They Do Come Along
Last but not least, I can perfect my parenting so that when I do have a daughter, I won’t have to worry about making all of the same mistakes all over again. I’ll have more patience, more understanding, and more love to be the second mom she needs.
I’ll Have A Daughter – I Just Have To Wait
God didn’t refuse me a daughter. He just asked that I wait. I’m fine with waiting. I feel honored to know that I am making the men my daughters will spend the rest of their lives with – men that will be as awesome for them as their father-in-law was for us, and as as dedicated to them as we are as a family.
My daughters are out there, and as the years fly by, I’ll look forward to meeting them, getting to know them, and doing all of those mother/daughter things with them that I’ve always wanted to do.
So hold on, ladies. Love your little boys, raise awesome men, and know that you’ll never have to worry about your adult daughter marrying someone less than impressive – because she’ll be marrying your son!
aww! 🙂 i never thought about it that way! that is a lovely way of looking at it and i will definitely keep it in mind as time goes on and we hopefully add more angels to the family! thanks for sharing your insight!
What a great way to look at life! I just know you’ll have the perfect daughter one day, you just wait and see!
I’m a mom of 2 boys who very much wanted a girl. They are 8 & 10 and now I see how “just right” our family is. I’m so close to my boys. They give me just as much love as a daughter would. But yes, that initial shattering of a life-long expectation that you’ll be able to pass on all that you’ve learned to a daughter is difficult.
I absolutely love your approach of raising good husbands and being able to help them pick good wives! Boys really do learn a lot from their moms. They learn how to interact with women and a good relationship might even help them to keep their heads on straight during their girl chasing years.