So on our recent road-trip my husband had the chance to observe something I’ve been telling him about for months now, and he did not really notice. The mini-van effect. It’s a proven (by me) phenomena that causes men to become desperate in order to preserve their pride.
You know that myth about minivans not being cool or whatever? I don’t really buy that much. I drive how I always drive: the same way I talk. If you guessed “not-slow,” you get a gold star for the day.
As I drove around the great state of Oklahoma in my awesome and not-slow minivan, I began to notice this strange effect that my van had on those around me. Especially men. And especially men in trucks. And no, it’s not what you’re thinking.
This minivan effect causes men who are perfectly content going, oh say, 45 miles per hour down the highway to suddenly feel the need for speed. I KNOW that they are happy going slow because I’ve been WATCHING them go super slow. Then I was passing them going super slow. Then they SAW me passing them going super slow and realized that if they got passed by a mom in a minivan while they were driving a truck they would lose their man card…possibly forever.
So they take off.
Anyone who knows me can imagine how happy I am when I’m cruising along about to pass someone and they suddenly take off in the right hand lane and won’t let me pass. It’s like finding yellow jackets in your beehive….not really what you expected would happen. Except now it has happened so often I can only conclude that the force of coolness and magnificence radiating from my minivan shocks their feet into pressing into the accelerator more forcefully….the minivan effect.
Interesting stats, because I’m a nerd like that. If it is a man in a pickup truck, the minivan effect occurs 74% of the time. If it is a man in any other vehicle only 50% of the time. Females do not seem to fall sway to the minivan effect. A recent road trip confirmed that the minivan effect seems to be a nationwide malady.
Women…the bottom line is that we have far more power than we realized. Embrace your inner speed demon and unleash the full fury of the minivan effect on a highway near you.