It’s timechange early and bitter crying is coming from the bathroom. My oldest son is in misery. Staggering into the bathroom, bleary eyed and half-blind with sleep I ask what’s wrong. “My knife!” he wails.
Yes, the worst had happened. His (brand new birthday present big boy gifted from his hero “Uncle Ian”) pocket knife took a tumble into the comode.
The well-used comode.
If it were ANYTHING else. If it were anyONE else. But you know, the toilet test is definitely a true measure of the deepest love I think. No flushing and forgetting would do.
Instead I just looked at Evan and said, “You better remember this son if you’re ever tempted to question whether I love you. Certainly this proves it.”
Yet even as I said it I felt a touch of sadness. I knew he wouldn’t always remember. Years will dull the memory of my actions. But I fished that knife out anyway – even knowing that he’d never fully grasp how much love it took.
Then it hit me…this was such a small thing compared to the cross. And yet surely God knew how often we’d take the gift for granted. How often we would forget that action of love Jesus showed when he tackled the Shadow of Death for us. But that didn’t stop Him. Not for one moment.
Lord, may I always remember that when it came to doing what needed to be done, you never hestitated. You did the hard thing. The right thing.
May I always remember this if ever I’m tempted to question whether you love me. Certainly this proves it.
I didn’t know I could laugh, gag and get teary all at the same time. As gross as it is, what a fabulous reminder of love. You’re a fabulous mom and I have a feeling that even if he doesn’t remember this specific episode, he’ll know that fact well for the rest of his life.
Thanks Shannan. There was definitely laughter. And gagging. And tears. 😉
commode? Took me a while to figure out what that word was.
LOL
I only speak in 3 yo terms- POTTY!
No seriously, this was lovely. <3
Yeah I was trying to figure out how to talk about the potty gracefully. It simply can’t be done. I needed the reminder today though that even when life stinks – ahem – God still cares.
Well as the mom of both “Uncle Ian” and the fisher woman of great faith, I am proud.
Evan will remember if you take a moment, snap a photo of the knife in his hand (after washing it off with antibacterial, industrial strength Lysol), and journal what you wrote here. Put words and photo, together on a page, and it will be there (barring a tornado or house fire) for him when the memory dulls and the flower withers. It will be there forever in an album to hold on his ever expanding lap about the love and devotion of his MaMa, Mommmy, Mom.
Love you all
Thanks Mom. 🙂 I’ve been taking photos of daily activities a lot more as part of a 365 challenge so I’ll be sure to include the knife (currently in the dishwasher after much scrubbing in the sink) in one of my photos.
This is true love. Because I have had to go commode diving before for Peanut and it’s amazing at what you can do as a Mom.
Thank you for sharing 🙂 <3
“commode diving”…LOL! Three other people have confessed to doing the same for their boys.
🙂
Parenting has made me a better (?) Christian–I think parenting has been more about ME than about my kids! *whew*
Beautiful post!
I definitely find myself seeing Biblical concepts from a new light now that I’m a parent. I think that it HAS made me more aware – even as I’m less able to devote tons of TIME to Bible study, I am meditating on these things more and more.
My hand has ventured there a few times as well… but I’m sitting down to eat lunch so I’ll just leave it at that 😉
Ohhh, yes…I remember those days. Thank goodness they are all old enough now to take care of that business themselves. lol Blech! 😉